Thursday, May 06, 2004
I like to forget.
It's funny how the past likes to creep up and pretend it matters worth a shit. It's funny how easily it is misinterpreted into something cruel and evil. It's funny how I get fucked over this bad. It's funny how someone can hate you so much for something you didn't even do, didn't intend to do, didn't want to do.
It's amazing how anger dismisses all. It's amazing how much honesty does not work. It's amazing how logic is completely ignored at times when it should lead the way. It's amazing how I can fuck shit up without even trying.
It's fucked up how mad I am. It's fucked up how bad I just want to break some heads. It's fucked up how things work out. It's fucked up how much shit crumbles when you're just barely putting it back together.
If you haven't noticed, I'm not in a very good mood. I don't really know what to do. I was completely aggravated without any type of resolve. All I could do is write out general feelings without alluding to what is really bothering me. I'm just angry. Angry with myself. Angry with someone else. I jsut wantthings to be better, to be okay. I guess it's too much to ask when emotions run high and anger wins all. Forget about what matters, it's time for an all out breakdown and dismissal of feelings. Okay. I need a cigarette.