Monday, April 28, 2008
Can't teach an old dog new tricks
Ten minutes ago:
"Hey Jodie! Oops, I mean Julie!" - woman that calls me "sailor"
There's a woman here that greets me with, "hey sailor" on a daily basis.
I don't think she actually knows my name.
I feel that way because after countless corrections, she still calls Judi, "Julie."
I don't have the heart to tell her I'm not really a sailor.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Pack Your Bags
The entire drive in to work was a shared car with my mother that contained one of the most epic battles of all time.
The subject: illegal immigration.
We debated and debated on the topic on absolutely opposite sides of the spectrum. It was ugly and in the end, she quit the debate (as we pulled into the parking lot) and decided that I was hopeless.
I won, by the way.
I got to work, grabbed some coffee with Judi and told her all about it. At the end of our morning water cooler talk, we both at the same exact time mention fences. The only difference was that she said, "electric fences." To which I responded, "Jurassic Park electric fences!"
She instantly defeated me with, "Yeah, but remember Jurassic Park? It only took one guy that was getting paid to turn off the power to the fences. Money talks."
It's moments like that where you come back to reality and remember that our country really is that screwy.
Shit. We're all screwed.
Monday, April 21, 2008
I woke up today thirty-five minutes before my alarm. I don't believe it was because I was so rested that my body decided it was time to open my eyes. I don't think five hours of sleep has ever allowed for that.
I woke up a little after she said, "Sushi. I read that sign last night." It wasn't exactly monumental news but it did clarify something important to me. It helped in realizing that there was nothing to talk about anymore. Hours of dialogue has now dwindled into brief pointless chatter.
It went from talking about how I had meant to call but had forgotten to where I'm going for my vacation to sushi signs that brightly flashed in the night. Between the filler there was no comfort. There weren't even any smiles. It was that discomfort you find when you run into someone you never expected to see again and weren't bothered by it.
Honestly, it was the most comforting discomfort you could ever wake up to.
Monday, April 14, 2008
...with the ridiculous urge for a vast percentage of the population to butcher names or make up ridiculous things to name their children.
One top of my shit list: anything that starts with "La" or "Tre"
Thursday, April 03, 2008
What to wear, what to wear...
You know what goes with every single outfit?
A Glock 19.
Well, unless you're into western wear.
Then you buy a six shooter.
Don't ask why I was thinking this, I just was. It happens. Speaking of outfits, I wrote a letter to MW Cleaners about them constantly fucking up my dry cleaning. I'm waiting to hear back about it and how they're going to provide me with free dry cleaning for the rest of their corporate existance. If that doesn't happen, I'm going to drink a ton of milk, eat a bunch of veggies until I grow big and strong and crush them out of existance.
I'm just daft enough to do it, too.